Sorry to be a tease. The story post is coming tomorrow. I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy (what’s left of) Hanukkah.
The mess in this picture are the scribblings of Episodes 122, 123, & 124. My life took a very difficult turn about 2 months ago. I won’t torture you with details but I felt the need to explain my absence as of late.
I’ve struggled a lot with anxiety for most of my life, and sought help several years ago. With meds and counseling, I learned a lot of really effective coping skills and it’s been very well managed until about 2 months ago. I had something happen that triggered some very bad things for me and I suffered nearly daily panic attacks. If you’ve ever had one, you know they they are not only debilitating but exhausting.
I don’t usually put my personal business in the blog. (Well, actually I do, I just subject fictional characters to my real life drama.) I felt compelled to share a little of this with you as mental health is something that is often overlooked. Most of my readers are women and we, in particular, suffer in our own unique ways. I know that men do as well, but I’m under qualified to speak into such things. This time of year especially, with the stress of holidays and shorter days (yes, a lack of sunlight can be a huge trigger), a lot of us find ourselves in pain without a logical reason as to why.
For a few weeks, pharmaceuticals were my friends, interrupting a very painful cycle of anxiety attacks but the side effects left me very one dimensional and my creativity was gone. It was necessary and I’ve since found a more long term regiment without the side effects. My purpose in dumping my person drama is not to make excuses or to gain sympathy. I’m well on the mend and can gladly say that my mojo is back. I feel so grateful for all of you and want to encourage anyone experiencing anxiety or depression to get the help you need. That may mean a little sunlight, some counseling, or a visit to your doctor. I just write a blog about a doctor, but I’m not one, so I’m not an expert. What I do know is that I, and you, were not designed to suffer in silence. A person with anxiety or depression may look fine when inside, it can literally feel like we are dying. No one is happy every minute of every day but if it goes on for a prolonged period of time, it’s not okay. It’s not how we’re designed to feel and it’s okay to admit that we are not superheroes.
Self care is not an admission of weakness. It is the exact embodiment of empowerment.
Side note: The scribbles in the picture above will be posted in a more um, consumable form by tomorrow night. I’d planned on posting today but I was, for the first time in weeks, in a creative place so I just kept writing. I appreciate every single one of you and wish you a season of health and happiness. Thank you for sticking with this story and for reading. It means the world! 💕💕💕